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Tag Archive Love Life

LOVE COST EVERYTHING!

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 My love life is one of the most shocking lives ever! I mean all the pain I put myself into just to honor and respect my body and that of an opposite sex, is it worth it? Since my fiance and I broke up in 2011 I have not dated since. Not because I have problem approaching women no, but because:

  • I believe women should be treated with respect and honor and so I cannot just play around with their feelings.
  • Waiting for that one special person I believe it is worth it, even though I doubt if she will ever come?
  • I don’t believe in investing time and words to someone that you know that you will not be together for a long time.
  • What I offer is special and meant for that one special person.

So for the last 5 months I have entertained a young woman, I mean we spent a lot time together, shared our lives with each other. She agreed that every moment we spent felt timeless. To the point where I started missing her when she was not around. She would go out with other guys and it would hit me hard. We continued spending time together until recently!

In previous times I would tell her of my passion for her of which she would smile in adoration. I would tell her that my heart is losing it rhythm because of her, she would smile. The other time I was so close to telling her what I was going through. But this one time she took off at me for “smitten” on her, she shouted at me for calling her “fragile” and needed to be handled with care. She asked what I wanted from her. I told her I am interested in knowing her better. We continued spending time still. This time I was careful to what I said and how I said it!

And so one day I told her that she is my favorite person, and that I liked her very much! We both attended a group where there was bible study and everything. The new guy joined the group, 2 weeks later they were very fond of each other and almost at each other’s arms this whole time! This group became a very uncomfortable environment for me. Weeks went by, I heard her friends instigating that these two become lovers! At this point I decided to tell this girl that I had been falling in love with her. She was very rude to me. She told me that I must stop looking at her like my “long lost wife”. This change of attitude was very strange. We never spoke since the fight, we have been to the group but I would leave early. All of a sudden I hear that she and this new guy are now boyfriend and girlfriend. My heart died a slow death I tell you.

Here I am, honoring and valuing women who show no honor or value for themselves. The hurt and the pain are too much to bear. There will be people that would like offer relationship advice right about now, but the truth is I cared so much about this girl. I showed her my value; I am confused as to what exactly is needed when it comes to relationships. So here is my take on relationships:

  • Women always say it is not about money but about the vision the guy has: I say bullshit! This ish is always about money! It is always about the car you drive!
  • Do not have sex before marriage is just pure fantasy, maybe I have been suffering for nothing.
  • And women really love guys that are jerks! Mr. Responsible Loving and Tender Hearted will be left behind.

From now on I think I will lower my levels of expectations to zero, clearly I have missed a boat filled with women that are into gentlemen.

I have mistaken this girl for a lady. She is just a girl that just wants to mess around. It is not her fault but it is my stupidity! So here I am with a broken heart that she will never care about, she is busy living her life, I am busy typing about my pain. I have officially threw the towel on finding the woman of my dreams, the queen of my heart, the one I will serve and lay my life down for. She does not exist. Until I buy that car or gets that pay cheque. Oooh I have seen it all

This pain will be over soon. And the one I am waiting for will hopefully come and she will have a twinkle in her eye, my eye will be drawn to her. I am not settling for second best.

To this girl:

Thank you for times we spent, thank you for sharing deep things with me that “only me” knows about. Thank you for selfies that got everyone talking. Thank you for something that never was but could have been.

I hope you grow to realize that it is not about what you see on the out but it is about what is on the inside and allow me to be the one to say, “You missed out”.

I am not bitter, I really hope you do well in your new relationship, I just really hope that you grow to become the woman that holds her head high and not waiting for somebody else complete her. Thank you for being my lesson, when I hoped you would be the blessing.

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